Vulnerability and Black Lace
by Cookies and Ink
Summary: It only felt right, his arms around her, his lips against her neck. (A companion piece to (Ir)Rational. Set during PoA)


**A/N:** This is a companion piece to (Ir)Rational. If you haven't read that then this fic won't make as much sense. I keep telling myself that I'm not going to make that a multichap but I've had this vivid scene that just wouldn't get out of my head. If I do decide to continue, I'll delete this and incorporate it in. But that probably won't happen because I'm not making this a multichap... I'm not.

Prompts and competitions mentioned at the bottom as always.

 **Word Count** : 2,961

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 **Vulnerability and Black Lace**

Minerva had not moved for some time. It was not in her habit to pace, and yet the thought kept crossing her mind, as though continuous movement might make deciding what to do any easier. It was ridiculous. She had never been a person who could ever be considered 'indecisive'.

Why now, was she dithering like someone half her age.

What Sirius had said to her kept playing on repeat, over and over in her mind.

' _Minnie, I need to talk to you.'_

His grey eyes had been so full of emotion that her heart had nearly stopped. He tucked his hair behind his ear, and not for the first time she noticed just how long and slender his fingers were. For some inexplicable reason, Minerva had felt her mouth go dry.

Then he had looked at her, like he was seeing through to the real her, under all the different roles she had adopted over the years. It never failed to make her feel vulnerable, to know that he saw her as Minerva and nothing more. She wasn't a parental figure, or his Professor, or the healer that had saved his life, the woman that was so desperately trying to ensure his innocence. Or perhaps she was all of those things and more. What mattered was that he saw her. Perhaps what mattered even more, was that Minerva wasn't afraid.

Of course she wasn't. She was a Gryffindor, through and through. That did not mean she had ever been comfortable with letting her guard down. After losing Dougal, and then Elphinstone, Minerva's heart had hardened. She had told herself again and again, that she wouldn't ever let herself get in that position. So rationally, being made to feel the way Sirius Black's gaze did, should, in the very least, have made her uncomfortable.

Instead the vulnerability made her flush. As Minerva asked him what was wrong, a part of her mind was going over how easy it had been, in the days since she had smuggled Sirius into her quarters and worked on how to prove his innocence. They had spent time together, she had held him through nightmares, he had made her laugh in a way that Minerva had found immediately embarrassing.

' _Minnie, I need to talk to you. I need to tell you how I feel. I spent so long in that cell, I can't handle feeling trapped by my own thoughts. Do you remember, what I said to you, after you'd let me stay and helped me get set up with an apprenticeship at Hogwarts? That hasn't changed.'_

Of course she still remembered. She had told him as much, feeling uncharacteristically flustered.

' _You asked me out for a drink. Sirius I -'_

' _I loved you then. I love you now.'_

He had said it so simply, chewing on his bottom lip in a way that had reminded Minerva so strongly of his teenage years, it had almost felt wrong. The bell had rang; she had not run away, she had left simply because she had class. She had not ran away.

The afternoon classes had passed in a haze of shy first years and scolding three fourth years who had already misplaced their Transfiguration books. Through it all, his words had echoed as a constant undercurrent in her mind and she knew what she _wanted_ to say.

But it was wrong, wasn't it?

That was the dilemma which Minerva found herself stuck with as the shadows lengthened, the classes emptied out and she still found herself sat at her desk, frozen in indecision. She loathed how she was feeling, the constant internal battle which had been raging since she'd left her quarters hours before.

She felt the same way about him.

It should feel wrong. Sirius had been her student - but he wasn't any more. He was a full grown man, and had been the last time he'd told her how he felt. Back then, Minerva had wanted to tell him that yes, she'd love to go for drinks with him. But he had been called to an Auror mission and in a matter of weeks life had changed for her and Sirius to something unrecognisable.

It should feel wrong. Sirius was a man but he had been through so much - as had she. They were both damaged and even Minerva couldn't say that she had dealt with everything life had thrown at her. She tended to get over things by throwing herself into work and ignoring what was bothering her.

It should… but it only felt right.

She stood up. She always felt better once her mind was made up. For a split second she waited for the small voice in the back of her mind, to reprimand her for being selfish. That was always something that she had been raised to believe was one of the worst traits a person could have. And yet it didn't come. Instead she felt calmer, her normal confidence returning now that she knew what she wanted to do.

Sirius was wearing a sky blue shirt that somehow look good on him, despite it being a colour that she would never choose. He looked up, his eyes the colour of storm clouds and dusk shadows.

"I've been thinking about what you said," she began and he immediately shifted, subconsciously pulling away and putting space in between them. "And I don't know if I love you. I can't say those words because every time I've said them before, I've lost someone."

Sirius stood up, looking concerned but Minerva held up a hand, wanting to say what was on her mind first.

"Just a moment Sirius. I want to make it very clear that I care for you, extremely deeply. Having you back in my life over the past weeks, yes it's been extremely complicated but it's also been some of the best days of my life. What we have means an incredible amount to me and if you can give me some time…"

"You think we could make this work?"

He looked so vulnerable that Minerva crossed over to him, putting her hand on his arm.

"I want to try. I think we might both need time, or at least have be open - minded in working this out. But I'm by your side, whatever happens."

Before they sat down to dinner that evening at her small kitchen table, Sirius asked if he could take off her cloak. Despite her overbearing father, she had grown up to be a strong feminist and yet letting her guard down and having him laugh softly as he pulled out her chair for her made her feel like a much younger woman.

They didn't have alcohol, it wasn't needed and certainly wouldn't work well with the potions Sirius was still taking to get his health back to it's full strength. It made her realise how neither of them seemed to need a crutch when they were in each other's company. They didn't struggle for conversation, even debating with each other left them both rolling their eyes with wry smiles and the silences that fell were comforting, like a heavy blanket being draped across her shoulders.

"Minnie," Sirius said, his voice low in a cadence that made Minerva's breath hitch. He took her hand, eyes fixed on his fingers as they trailed slowly up her wrist. "I'm happy to stay within whatever boundaries you want to put down."

"That we put down," she corrected quietly. "This is a partnership Sirius."

He nodded, glancing up and looking grateful before taking another steadying breath.

"Thank you. I just want you to know that… I can go at whatever pace we think is right. So when I ask you this…"

"Sirius, ask me. Stop worrying."

"May I kiss you?"

She had always found respect and consent to be attractive. Almost as attractive as the way his hand was pressed against the small of her back, ten minutes later when they'd moved to the sofa. Almost as seductive as the way she could smell his aftershave with each inhale and felt him relax under her fingertips which slowly, deliberately, undid the top button of his shirt.

"Is this okay?" she asked and Sirius gave her a lopsided smile that she was all too familiar with. His hands moved to her hair and Minerva twisted, her back facing him as he carefully undoing the knot she'd pulled it up in, carding his fingers through the tresses that fell around her shoulders.

"Fuck, you're beautiful."

That almost made her laugh.

The shirt was the first item of clothing to come off and almost instantly Minerva felt Sirius tense. At first she thought he might be cold but then he held her wrist gently and swallowed as she pulled back to check his expression.

"I haven't got the… I mean, it's not like I've got a six pack any more. My fitness regime somewhat went out the window," Sirius murmured in clear embarrassment. She bent down to kiss him again and then drew her lips down his neck, to his collarbone and back until he sighed, eyes fluttering closed.

"I've been caring for you for weeks Sirius. I'm not going to run away. I know what I'm getting myself into. You may not however. I don't suppose you've been with many mature women, I fear that you will be the one who is in for a shock."

Sirius laughed, eyes creased in mirth.

"None, actually. You've always been the only one on my mind."

"Flatterer."

She knew he was still hesitant, although there were constant hints of his old cockiness and so Minerva easily took charge. As though he were reading her mind, Sirius laughed again.

"I think that's why I always fancied you. In every single fantasy, you took command. I was never good at taking control. I have a feeling you taking charge is not something I'm going to have to beg you for."

"Now Sirius… I said that we should take this slow. You begging me should really come later."

She felt herself flush at her own brazenness with a man who, based off the rumours she remembered, was much more experienced than her in most, if not all aspects of sex. Instead Sirius gazed at her wide eyes and shifted, swallowing heavily. She filed that reaction away and went back to kissing him softly, her fingers tracing against his tattoos until his body was relaxed against her touch.

He was the first to brush his tongue against her bottom lip, slipping it in slowly, the first to elicit a moan from her mouth in so many years that she had nearly forgotten what lust and pleasure like this could feel like. His hands felt strong, firm against her and she found herself wishing that he was touching skin. as he caressed her hair

They moved to the bedroom of a silent accord, hands tangled together. There was no giggling, they weren't acting like horny teens having a quick feel. Or so she thought, and then Sirius had taken her by the hips and had her pressed up against the door of her room, just a few inches taller than her but enough that he had to duck his head to reach her lips. Her hands ran across his shoulders and he groaned, pulling her tucked in blouse out of the waistband of her skirt to slip his hands underneath.

"Undress me," she whispered.

He used a spell, one of the first examples of wandless magic that she'd seen him do recently and at that, she couldn't help but raise an eyebrow.

"Give me some credit Minnie. I'm trying to be suave here. Fuck if I'd known you wore bras like that when you were teaching... "

"Then you'd have concentrated even less than you did," she joked and he nodded, eyes raising up slowly.

"You really are beautiful. I'm going to take my time. I want to savour this."

She was determined to give him whatever he needed, wanting just as much as he did to ease into what had long been unfamiliar territory. That was the sensible, logical thing to want. In what felt like no time however, her mind had rejected everything she'd previously been firm about, as Sirius Black, his fingers and skillful tongue began to drive her mad.

One hand kept a firm grip, pressing her between his body and the wall whilst the other began to slowly travel up her body. Her body seemed overrun with sensations, between the cool stone behind her and the burning paths his fingers seemed to track over her skin. His teeth grazed so lightly against her collarbone she wasn't quite sure what he'd done for a moment and then one hand was barely brushing the exposed skin at the top of her left breast. His touches were light, at odds with the yearning in his kiss, with his hard cock that was pressed between her legs. She reached for him, pulling him closer until there was barely any space between them, desperate for more and a soft moan left her lips.

"Merlin, do that again."

"Make me."

It was a direct challenge, one that made Sirius groan. He undid her bra with a hand and as it fell to the floor Minerva pushed him back and sidestepped, maintaining eye contact as she walked over to her bed.

"I don't think I want to have sex," Sirius said, "Despite everything in my body telling me otherwise. It's just… it's been a while and I don't want to feel like all we're doing is fucking. You mean more to me than that."

"I don't either, that is something that I want to take one step at a time," she said soothingly and he looked relieved. "Really Sirius, what kind of woman do you take me for."

"The kind that looks incredibly sexy in black lace and with that black lace on her bedroom floor."

The mood shifted, some tension that she hadn't realised was there lifting. Sirius came to lie next to her and cupped her breast softly, eyes glancing to her as he lowered his head before taking a nipple in his mouth. Minerva gasped, head falling back against the pillow and for a long moment, for what seemed like eternity and a few seconds at the same time, Sirius licked and bit until she began to unravel.

"Every time you moan I think I'm going to come in my pants," he muttered breathlessly, "Honestly I can't remember the last time I… Stamina is something I might have to work on. Fuck me Minnie you look so good. You make me feel so good as well."

As he spoke he was staring at her hand which had moved to press against his erection, straining against the front of his trousers.

"May I touch you?"

"Please," Sirius breathed, voice close to a whimper that sent sparks through her body.

"Afterwards, will you watch me as I touch myself?"

The swear words that Sirius groaned impressed even Minerva who was well used to teenagers being creative in their frustrations.

"I'm going to need confirmation," she murmured. He pinched her nipple, making her breath catch and in return her vanished his trousers non-verbally, slowly running her hands down his cock through the fabric of his boxer shorts.

"Oh… Yes Minnie that was confirmation and… whatever you need, I'll do it."

His eyes rolled back into this head as his hips bucked towards her. His boxers were the next to go and Sirius started to compliment her vanishing skills before he seemed to forget most of the English language, resorting to babbling as her hands stroked him languidly. |She moved slowly at first, then speeding up until he was moaning her name and coming hard, tears in the corner of his eyes and body trembling.

"You're wonderful," she said to him, easily cleaning up the mess and his grey eyes blinked at her dazed, his smile euphoric. "Now, watch me."

It should have felt like a vulnerable position to be in, his eyes on hers as she lay now naked beside him, and yet Minerva felt more safe and relaxed than she had in a long time. It should have felt familiar too, for she had touched herself many more times than a man or woman had, and yet his gaze made her feel like she was on fire and she found herself wetter than any spelled lubricant had made her in years.

She came silently, sighing, her eyes squeezing closed and face flushed. Before she could cast a spell to clean herself, finding it difficult to move as every muscle relaxed, glowing with pleasure, Sirius took her hand and sucked on each of her fingers, looking like he was savouring the best thing he'd ever tasted.

For a long moment they lay together and then she moved, sitting up to pull on a nightie. Sirius pulled on his boxers and they got into bed, him putting an arm out and she rolling to lay her head on his shoulder as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

"I may talk in my sleep," Sirius said quietly after she had spelled the candles to barely give off any light and turned off music on to play softly until they were both asleep.

"I may snore. You'll have to survive,"

It elicited a laugh which made her smile and then laugh as well. Her second to last thought as she fell asleep in Sirius' arms was that everything had changed. Then she realised that she hadn't felt happier in many years and smiled to herself, kissing the hand that was curled around her softly.

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 **A/N:** This was entered in the 'One Character Only' Comp on the HPFC.

Prompts used were:

\- Books

\- Sky Blue

\- Cloak

Thanks as always for reading.


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